Hello Loves,
Tonight I wanted to share something very personal in my life that I am currently dealing with. To put it out there CANCER SUCKS!
My grandfather has had Stage Four Liver Cancer since July of last year and we knew our time with him was going to be limited. We had some hope because he was actually chosen to be part of an immunotherapy trial which was supposed to strengthen his immune system and fights the cancer on his own. This worked for a little while and the cancer even shrunk a little bit.
Fast forward to October, my grandfather actually ended up in the hospital for a week due to kidney failure. They were able to control his kidneys, but the immunotherapy had to be stopped.
Here we are in February and we just found out from the doctors at Hospice that he only has about 1-2 weeks left with us. This was definitely hard for me to swallow and I found myself in tears while talking to my mother on the phone during the Super Bowl.
The thing I keep thinking about the most is how I am going to tell my 6 year old daughter that her “Pop Pop” is going to be leaving us soon to go to heaven. I have been searching the Internet for ways to explain this to her and I came across these 10 helpful steps:
1. When talking about death, use simple, clear words
2. Listen and comfort
3. Put emotions into words
4. Tell your child what to expect
5. Talk about funerals and rituals
6. Give your child a role
7. Help your child remember the person
8. Respond to emotions with comfort and reassurance
9. Help your child feel better
10. Give your child time to heal from the losssource: kidshealth.org
This is something that i have never had to explain to her and I am hoping these steps will help her through her grieving process once the time comes. RIP Grandpa we love you!
xoxo Jaimie Lyn
This is such a hard topic for children. These tips would be very important to have.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I haven’t had to talk with my daughter yet about human death, but death of a pet is something we dealt with recently and that was hard enough.
Thank you
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I wished I could remember how my parents talked to me when I was growing up. I can remember very fondly being at several funerals growing up. Great grandparents, great uncles, etc. Your tips sound like great starting points. We have deep roots in our faith so talking to my girls about it is easier than some. My girls both lost a grandmother at a young age, and for them they just understood, thanks to our faith. It wasn’t easier of course, because no matter what you believe, death isn’t easy. However, it did make it easier for them to understand.
Death is never an easy subject. I think you did a great job of outlining how to talk to your children about it!
Oh, I’m so sorry about Pop Pop. I know how hard it is to lose someone close to you. I like all of your grieving suggestions for little ones, and think that sometimes time and hugs are good ways to keep it simple and still feel supported during the difficult time.
Death is a hard topic, but we all face it at one point or another. It’s good to be prepared, especially in knowing how to help others grieve and overcome.
I’m so so sorry that this has happened to you. It must be so difficult and upsetting not just for your children but for your whole family. Sending hugs xxx
I’m sending you prayers of comfort and the right words when the time comes. Hugs.
So sorry you have to go through this. You’re right cancer does suck. Lost my FIL to cancer 3 years ago. Sad times. My mother beat ovarian cancer 12 years ago. Pretty much we all know someone close to use battling cancer. It sucks. Just know that there are groups you and your daughter can talk to during this difficult time
Hugs
I have never had to do this before, I have never had someone that close to us pass away.
These are so helpful. It can be overwhelming trying to explain death to a child but it can also bring you closer together.
I’m so sorry that your family is going through this right now. I think all of these are great points for how to talk to children about people passing on and a good thing to prepare them rather than avoid it. Children are so perceptive, I feel like mine already know so much sometimes without me telling them.
We recently had a death in the family and it is so hard to explain it to children. They need to know what is going on and get over what has happened in their own time.
This a really hard topic for everyone, especially for children as they do not really understand death and you do not want to scare them. Thanks for the great tips! I am truly sorry you are having to go through this ;(
These are great tips. I never knew how to deal with death as it was never really talked about. Love this post though x
I agree Cancer Sucks! I’m so sorry about your grandpa. These are great tips for helping kids cope.
We’ve had quite a few deaths in our family in the last few years. Its something I made sure my kids had lots of help with. It takes tolls on us, imagine as a kid! its tough. These are great tips!
Death is a really tough subject and I think these are great tips. We haven’t had to deal with it in concrete terms really yet.
I love these tips. Death can really be confusing for little ones, I remember having family members pass when I was younger.
These are some really great tips! No matter what your age is, death is never an easy subject to approach
I am so sorry you all are going through this, my heart goes out to you. I have dealt with cancer as well with my father and others and it is hard. Death is confusing for adults yet alone children.
I’m so sorry to hear about your grandfather. Cancer does suck. My mom was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer in 2015. She is still battling it and has had many setbacks, though the clinical trial she is currently on seems to be working. It has been a rollercoaster since the day she got sick so I know what you are going through. Every time she sees the doctor, we all hold our breath waiting for the update. My nephew, who is 5, knows Mema is sick but he doesn’t know she has cancer. My sister has thought about the same scenario you are facing now. It isn’t an easy one. I feel for you and your family. Sending my prayers your way.
This is so helpful. I was looking for posts like this exactly one year ago when my grandmother died. They have so many questions and it is hard to answer when you are grieving yourself!
I’m so very sorry for your loss. This is a wonderfully helpful post. I’ve only had to help my son through death once so far. No doubt, it will visit again. Thank you.
This is such a hard topic to discuss with kids. My oldest is just now understanding that my grandmother passed away a few years ago and asks me about it all the time.
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this. It’s such a hard topic but so important to talk your kids through it
All good reminders of what we should be doing. I am so sorry for what your family is going through.
This is such a hard thing to deal with. When we lost my grandpa a few years back it was tough to talk to the kids. One 8-year old asked to attend the service and we allowed it. It was a tough call but he wanted to go.
These are really really great tips! It’s so important to tell your child what to expect and giving them a role is great too! I’m sorry you had to learn these tips, but you’re helping a lot of other mamas!
Open communication is key! I agree to talk about funerals and dying at an early age so they are familiar with it. Good tips!